The informal or casual
place setting is use for regular meals like eating at home on a Saturday
afternoon or for Tuesday night dinner at home. The formal place setting is used
for special meals
such as Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner or a meal in a fine restaurant.
In order to know how to set a table properly, you must first learn the names and
uses of the
different utensils used in setting a table.
To view table setting 101 click here
REMEMBER: In order to set a table properly you have to know what the menu
will be, so you can put out the proper utensils needed for the meal.
We always begin eating with the flatware furthest from the plate, so when
setting the table you
need to know what foods will be served first and also what type of dessert
flatware to put on the
table.
PLATES
Put the dinner plate in the center of the setting, one inch from the edge of the
table, with any
picture or design facing the diner. If placemats are used, the place setting is
centered on them,
although they need not be large enough to accommodate everything in the place
setting.
The bread and butter plate is placed on the left side, slightly above the plate.
The butter knife may
be on this plate, and if it is you should leave it there after you use it.
The salad plate is also placed to the left of the dinner plate, slightly below
the bread and butter
plate.
FLATWARE (Knives, forks, and spoons)
Flatware (also called silverware) is used from the outside to the inside, with
the first outside fork
on the left being used first and the first outside spoon on the right being used
first. A spoon or
fork placed over our dinner plates is used for dessert.
GLASSES
Use the glass to the right of your plate. Large stemmed glasses are called
goblets. Hold by the
bowl, not the stem, to avoid spills. A glass without a stem is held in the
middle, not at the rim.
If you need to pass a glass or cup to someone, you do not touch the rim with
your fingers.
NAPKINS
Napkins are usually place to the left of the place setting. Occasionally it will
be folded on your
plate or in your glass to give a decorative look. NEVER place your napkin under
your flatware!
Reason: The first thing you should do when you sit at the table is to place your
napkin in you lap.
If the napkin is under your flatware then you have to move the flatware to get
your napkin.....it
doesn't make sense to have to do that!
A large dinner napkin is opened in half with the fold on top. The open bottom
half may be used
to blot your mouth. A small luncheon napkin may be opened all the way.
* Remember, a napkin isn't meant to be a bib, towel, or handkerchief. You never
blow your
nose in a napkin. You use napkins to blot or wipe your mouth.
LET'S SET THE TABLE
(Activity)
MATERIALS NEEDED:
Table clothes and/or placemats
Napkins
Dishes
Glasses
Flatware
(If possible have a set of each of the following for each student. If you have a
large class you can
form groups of 2, 3, or 4 students and let them work as a team)
* Dinner Plate
* Salad Plate
* Dessert Plate
* Bread and Butter Plate
* Cup and Saucer
* Dinner Napkin
* Knife
* Dinner Fork
* Salad Fork
* Dessert Fork
* Dessert Spoon
* Ice Tea Spoon
* Juice Glass
* Water Glass
* Ice Tea Glass
* Coffee Spoon
Decorate your table
Information Sheet
SITTING AT THE TABLE
When you are called to the table, your host/hostess will indicate where you
should sit, unless there are
formal place cards by each plate. It is considered polite to stand behind your
chair at the table until
your hostess is seated or asks you to sit. Men/boys should help the ladies/girls
next to them be seated by pulling
out their chairs and easing them back toward the table - gently!
BASIC TABLE RULES
* Sit up straight.
* No chair rocking
* Keep your feet to yourself. No kicking or sprawling.
* Napkin goes on your lap, not under your chin.
* Wait for your hostess to lift her fork before you begin to eat - or until she
tells you to begin.
GRACE
Many people begin their meals by saying a prayer of thanks. It may be referred
to as "Grace," "The
Blessing," or "Returning Thanks." You should wait to see if grace will be said
before you begin to eat.
BEFORE THE MEAL
When you sit down at the table, after the "grace" has been said, the first thing
you do is open your
napkin halfway and put it in your lap. If you must leave the table during the
meal, place your napkin
on your chair. NEVER put your used napkin on the table during the meal. When you
have finished
eating, pick up your napkin loosely and place it on the table on the left side
of your plate.
When you sit down to eat, you have some responsibilities. Here they are:
PASSING FOOD
1. Always pass the salt and pepper shakers together.
2. When you pass a dish that has a handle (cream pitcher, gravy boat), turn it
so that the person
to whom you are passing can take hold of the handle.
3. If you want something on the table that is not in front of you, ask for it.
Never reach across
someone or lean over the table. Remember to use the magic words...please and
thank you.
4. Unless your hostess indicates otherwise, pass all serving dishes (platters
and bowls of food that
everyone shares) to the right.
5. As serving dishes are passed, use the serving utensil provided. You must
remember to return
the spoon to the serving dish before passing it on.
6. Never touch the rim of a cup or glass when passing it.
7. Only take as much food as you intend to eat.
8. Never use your own fork or spoon to help yourself.
9. You should take a little of everything, where you like it or not.
10. You can leave something on your plate, but never make a fuss about it. If
you don't like a
certain food, you can think "yuk," but don't say it.
CUTTING FOOD
1. Hold your fork in you left hand, tines down, and hold the knife in your right
hand, bearing
down as you cut.
2. You should cut only one or two pieces at a time as you eat.
3. You shouldn't make wings of your elbows as you cut.
4. If the meat is tough, it's better to cut it in very small pieces.
5. Salad greens may be cut if they seem to large.
6. Fried chicken is finger food on a picnic, but cut it with a knife and fork in
a dining room unless
the hostess gives permission otherwise.
DURING THE MEAL
1. Wait until everyone is seated and served before you begin eating. At a party,
wait for the
hostess to "lift her fork."
2. Sit up Straight. Do not lounge all over the table. You may lean slightly
forward over your plate
when eating so that no food lands in your lap!
3. It is recommended that elbows not be placed on the table during a meal. You
can rest your
arms on the edge of the table, if necessary.
4. Put used flatware on your plate, not back on the table.
5. Use one hand for eating and leave the other one in your lap.
6. Chew with your mouth closed. No one wants to hear us eat or see our food
being chewed.
7. Take small bites and drink slowly.
8. Never talk with food in your mouth.
9. If something you have taken is too hot, you never spit it out. The best
remedy is a quick sip of
cold water.
10. Never pick your teeth at the table. If something is stuck in a tooth, try to
remove it quietly with
your tongue. If that doesn't work, excuse yourself and go the rest room, where
you can pick
privately.
11. You should pace your eating so you finish about the same time as everyone
else.
12. If you need to attend to something personal, just ask to be excused without
any announcements.
13. If you spill something, you should apologize and offer to help clean it up,
but don't die of
embarrassment.
14. A pit, bone or a piece of gristle may be removed with your fingertips or the
tip of your fork and
placed on the side of your dinner plate. You should never spit anything out.
15. When you are finished with your meal, place your knife and fork together in
the
middle of your plate. This tells a waiter that you are finished and it also
keeps the utensils from
falling on the floor when the plate is picked up
AFTER THE MEAL
1. It is always nice to thank the hostess (or your mom at home) and compliment
her on the meal.
2. It is nice to offer to help in the clean up.....even at home!!
3. When you leave the table, place your napkin at the side of your plate (don't
refold it) and push
you chair back under the table.
4. At home, you should never leave the table without being excused. It's always
nice to tell Mom,
who cooks every day, that you appreciate her cooking for you. (A kiss is even
better.)
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Brainard, Beth and Sheila Behr. Soup Should Be Seen, Not Heard! The Kids
Etiquette Book.
New York: Dell Publishing, 1990.
Hartley, Hermine. The Family Book of Manners. Uhrichsville, Ohio: Barbour and
Co. 1990.
Martin, Judith. Miss Manners' Guide For The Turn-Of-The-Millennium. New York:
Pharos Books, 1989
Pincus, Debbie. Manners Matter. Carthage, IL: Good Apple Publisher, 1992.
Stewart, Marjabelle Young. The New Etiquette. New York: St Martin's Press, 1997
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